A short story about everyday life with celiac disease

It Sticks to Me

I leave the house — and it is already with me.

It follows me wherever I go.

Most of the time it is quiet and discreet, not always visible. Yet I never forget it is by my side. If I did, I would risk the quiet suddenly becoming loud and overwhelming, and I would lose control.

It hides masterfully. Sometimes it disguises itself as a harmless flavor carrier or as a thickener in a creamy sauce. It can even linger on a knife or a cutting board — invisible, yet still present.

It clings to my thoughts every day, and sometimes it keeps me from fully enjoying the beautiful moments. When we sit together at the table, it whispers doubt into my ear.

“Is this safe?” I ask quietly.

“Oh, don’t be so sensitive,” it replies. “A tiny bite won’t hurt.”

I shake my head. My smile stays in place while everything inside me tightens. A single contact, almost immeasurable, and the calm would be gone. My own immune system would turn against me, attacking the lining of my small intestine and destroying the delicate villi that are meant to nourish and sustain my body. Even the smallest amounts are enough to ignite this storm.

I would never allow that. Not if I can prevent it.

And yet this is where the real struggle lies: in the supposed certainty others offer so easily. It is a constant balance between trust and danger. While others simply see a meal, I see a risk I cannot take. For me there is no exception, no pause, no “just this once.” Every moment of carelessness would be a step back into pain — a loss of the fragile control I have worked so hard to maintain.

So I remain vigilant, even when it is exhausting.

It looks at me with wide eyes. When I travel, it travels with me. I would like to keep it small, contained — perhaps even forget it for a moment. But there is no vacation from it. It is a lifelong connection, a contract I never signed but that demands unwavering loyalty if I want to stay healthy.

Perhaps I should make peace with my daily companion, look at it with respect. Perhaps I should greet it every day — perhaps I should call it by its name:

GLUTEN.

I keep my distance from you because I cannot tolerate you. You make me ill. And yet you will always remain somewhere near me.

So I stay vigilant.

Not fearful.

Just aware.

That is my everyday life.

 

 

Medical Explanation

* Gluten is a type of protein commonly referred to as the “glue protein.” It is a natural mixture of proteins found in grains such as wheat, rye, and barley. When combined with water, gluten forms an elastic, sticky structure that allows dough to stretch and hold together.

Gluten is not only present in obvious grain products but is also frequently “hidden” in processed foods — for example as a binding agent, thickener, or flavor carrier. Residues of gluten can also remain on kitchen utensils and surfaces, leading to unintended contact.

Celiac disease is a lifelong chronic autoimmune condition.

In people affected, the immune system reacts to gluten and attacks the lining of the small intestine. Even very small amounts of gluten can trigger inflammation and damage the intestinal villi, which are responsible for absorbing nutrients.

There is currently no medication that cures celiac disease.

The only effective treatment is a strict lifelong gluten-free diet. Only by completely avoiding gluten can inflammation, villous atrophy, and potential nutrient deficiencies be prevented.